A couple of weeks ago, one of the readers of this blog told me ´wow, everything is just going very smoothly for you over there in Spain right?´. And though, in general, I am getting used to my new life in Spain, it´s by far not been, and still not, a smooth process and the ups and downs are all around.
Since I promised that this blog is about honesty, and telling the réal story, I thought it had to set this straight. Thing is, me too, I don´t like the share the ´downs´: I feel like I am complaining, and often the downs are temporary, emotional driven and pass quickly. But, that doesn´t mean they are not there, that the doubts are not there.
Mentality
For me, one of the main changes is the change in mentality. For those that have ever been to Colombia, its people are really among the happiest, most extrovert and life enjoying people I´ve ever met. And that´s contagious. And though, also in Colombia, things where far from going smoothly quite often, I feel myself missing this happiness. Sitting in my door opening or at the little kiosk of my neighbours and just enjoying Colombian life. The Spanish, and especially those in Andalucía, and espécially those in the smaller towns, seem to be a bit more reserved (compared to the Colombians, I am sure if we would ask a Scandinavian they would definitely have a very different impression). By now, I would have been invited into people´s homes and for all kinds of activities tens of times in Colombia, it hasn´t happened yet in Spain.
But, Colombia can also become a bit overwhelming sometimes. I also enjoy it that I can kind of disappear in my own little world again here, without people interrupting. And once you get to know people, it feels very honest and genuine, their friendship.
Furthermore, having lived in Cali, which hasn’t been discovered by expats as much just yet, I had to get used to the fact that there are quite some foreigners in Southern Spain. Mostly northern European and mostly of a bit older age (like, retired). I have never been a person though to stay in the foreigner and expat circles, and especially since I speak the language perfectly fine, in theory there should not be any barrier to create friendships with the locals. In theory..
I dó have to say, this is something that mostly impacts mé, Thomas has been a lot more relaxed with this. He knows some people by know and feels that is perfectly fine, I feel the need to know everyone, to have big social circles, to always run into people I know when out on the street, etc. So my overall personality (and my earlier experiences, because both in Colombia as in other places where I´ve lived, my social life has indeed been quite large). But in the end, that´s what it´s all about right? These are all my personal experiences.
Lacking jobs
Then, we were aware of the smaller towns in southern Spain lacking a young population, mostly because there is a general lack of jobs, and young people move to cities like Granada and Malaga. Having lived in big cities for so long, we were kind of looking forward to live in a quieter place. That said, it does get pretty quiet, and sometimes I am very nervous about the winter to come, in which even those that have a second house by the coast, and that fill the little towns with life, have now left. And I have nothing against ´older people´, but I have had my moments in which I was really hoping to see people our own age, and have panicked at the lack of them.
However, we are lucky to have the city of Motril 10 kilometers away with a more dynamic and young environment, and of course the city of Granada at 45 minutes. Whenever I really feel the need to see young people, I go up to Granada and work from a co-working there. But sometimes I wonder if I am missing this vibrant city life, with its cultural and intellectual offer, where young people are making things happen, instead of the more conservative take of the smaller towns.
I honestly don´t have the answer yet. I am very much enjoying living outside of the city as well, enjoying the quietness and the peace, being able to run right outside of my house, cycle into the mountains, things that are less accessible in the city. But I have also played with the idea of moving to Granada. I guess time will tell 😉
Then, as mentioned before, a big challenge, which we knew in advance, is the complete lack of jobs in this area. Or at least, jobs in the area that we studied in. If we would consider working in Malaga, there could be options there, but the 1.5 hour one-way drive sounds a little exhausting. Because we knew this in advance, I knew that I had to continue the remote working options that I have been doing in the past 2.5 years. Since moving is expensive, especially when across continents, the need to find some gigs became very high which created a lot of extra stress.
Luckily, for me, this has ended as I have now started working remotely as Chief Marketing and Communications Officer at a really cool organization called WeForest. Thomas also found a job, however, he noticed that actually remote working is not really his deal, and when coming across his dream job where he would be part of a team again, he applied. The only problem, this job is in Denmark. A small 4000 kilometers away from Salobreña.
Back to the Long Distance thing
So this is the current situation in which I am in southern Spain and Thomas will be in Denmark, at least for the upcoming 6-12 months.
This happening made me think about our choice to move to this small town in Andalucía. Would I have moved here knowing I would be living by myself as well? Most likely I would have opted for a city like Granada. Would I even have moved to Spain if I would have been the only one? Maybe, maybe not. We had decided that moving to either Denmark or the Netherlands wouldn´t be ´fair´ to the other one, so we focused on Spain. Maybe I would have considered moving back to the Netherlands? Most likely I still would have chosen southern Europe though 😉
So, while it was never really the plan or my choice to live in Salobreña by myself, I now wouldn´t want to move to Denmark necessarily. The idea of leaving the mountains, the end of September beach and swimming days, and the overall feeling of ´just starting to like it here´, I don´t want to change.
Because yes, I am starting to like it here. Slowly I am starting to get my bureaucracies in order (and there were many, subscribing my company, opening bank accounts, getting social security, applying for residency, changing my motor license, etc.), which always takes up a lot more energy than you think, I am starting to get a little bit of a rhythm and structure now that everything slowly goes back to normal after the long summer holidays.
And though I know that my structure will never be ´normal´, especially not now I will be dividing my time between Salobreña and Copenhagen, I´m enjoying the little moments when I feel like I am slowly ´settling in´.
So, it hasn´t been easy! There have definitely been ups and downs, but hey.. the highs cannot be enjoyed fully, when there aren´t any lows right (is what I tell myself when I am eating chocolate, drinking tea and cuddling my kitties on one of those ´wild´ Friday nights)?!
