Going solo, as a woman

Let me start with a little anecdote: Back in 2010, I took a 30-hour train ride across China. I did not speak any Mandarin, nor did my fellow travelers speak any English. They all seemed to have one burning question though, and thus they searched across the train until they found a Chinese student who did speak some English. Finally, they were able to ask me their big question: Why was I traveling, as a woman, by myself?

Ever since (and before that as well) I have gotten this question in many different varieties: Am I not scared to travel by myself? Why do I not want to travel with my boyfriend/husband/family member/any person? Am I not aware that it´s a dangerous world out there?

And though I am not writing this to pretend that female solo travel is the same as male solo travel (because quite unfortunately, in my opinion, there áre still things that as a woman alone bring more risks with you, then being a male solo traveler). But, I ám writing this, to explain why I think you should not let your ideas, other people´s ideas and questions, the media, or whichever fears you might have, stop you from trying so.

Equally so, I often read these ´top 10 best countries to travel solo as a woman´. Interestingly enough, they tend to be made up out of countries like Denmark, Canada, Spain, Singapore, Australia, etc. Well, yeah, that´s not just for women, those are just safe countries for every human being (in general, anything can happen of course! Get good travel insurance you people!). But it kind of makes it sounds as though the whole of the African continent, as well as Latin America, are just absolute no-go´s when considering traveling by yourself as a woman. And I happen to highly disagree. So, here go some little tips and tricks to feel safer, or at least show people that you actually have thought about this.

Why would you ever want to travel alone anyways?

That´s a good question. I dó have to say that it kind of started with me wanting to go to places and in months that no friends wanted to go to and/or could not take time off. And with the years, and everyone getting into jobs that aren´t as flexible as mine, families, and above all, other interests, this only has grown. When writing this, I actually tried to remember when was the very first time I traveled by myself, and I have to admit: I actually don´t remember! Granted, in 2005 I did move abroad to the US by myself, not knowing anyone. But I went to live with a host family in Wyoming, and I attended school in my town. So it was a bit of a middle way. Then in 2009 I went to study in Argentina: same story. I moved there by myself and would take short weekend trips to different areas by myself, but the longer trips I took with friends or my sis who came to visit. So, it might actually just as well have been that same year in China, in 2010, when I took 6 weeks to explore Hong Kong, Malaysia and parts of China. But probably by then it already felt so natural to move around by myself that I don´t remember it as such.

Back to why traveling by myself: by now, I have really gotten used to a very own rhythm and speed of traveling. Above all when also working while on the road, it is extremely hard to find someone who shares that. I get that, when you only have 3 weeks of holidays, you do not want to spend them sitting in coffee café´s while I am working. You want to move around. Yet, for me, the most stressful thing to do while working, is moving around every other day. SO of course, not a great fit here!

Also, since I am traveling so much, my need to see every little street stone and guide book recommendation is not very high. I love sitting in a park for an entire afternoon and just relax. But again, I understand that if you´re just on a city trip for the weekend, you just prefer to sit in the park in your hometown.

Then, I really like to be active. I like being outdoors, cycling, running, surfing (yeaaayy.. you did not know this about me just yet eh ;)) and especially the surfing part takes up a loooott of time. Again, I´m not going to ask someone to just wait at the beach for hours, but I would also not feel nice to be at this amazing surf spot and not hit the waves. Conclusion, there is a handful of people who I like to travel with, especially because we have accepted our own rhythms (you know who you are ;))).

Being alone, makes you less alone

Then, of course, it´s super nice to share your moments with someone you know well and trust. And believe me, it´s amazing to have someone watch your backpack quickly while you really need to pee at some kind of bus station, instead of having to take everything with you in that way-too-small toilet, with nasty floors, so you also cannot put your backpack on the floor. And of course, it´s these hole-in-the-floor kind of toilets, so you end up balancing with your backpack still on your back, hoping to not pee over your feet. Good stuff!

But, traveling alone also makes you very accessible to other people: other travelers, local people. Sitting alone at a market (ok, it still takes a little mental push to go inside a restaurant/bar/market and sit by myself at a table, believe me. My first though still is ´people will think I am such a loser with no friends´, but hey, even íf they would think so, they are still inviting me to join them, and thus make friendships as I go.

But, is it safe?

As I said before, the world tends to be a lot safer than we think and then other people let us believe, yet, there are some things to take into account when traveling as a woman alone. Whenever I check in at a hostel or AirBnB I tend to ask my local host what and where I can or cannot go.

Also, yes, there still are some countries where you might have to take a whole extra set of precautions (I will never tell anyone they should not travel there, but I have my own very small list of countries where I might not necessarily travel to by myself).

Where to stay?

I tend to stay in hostels, they are great places to get to know fellow travelers and socialize. Seriously, if you don´t want to be alone, you don´t have to (in March I spent a month long in a hostel in Gran Canaria and I literally was never alone, which is exactly what I needed at that moment, so that was great!).

I tend to stay in dorm rooms (unless I am somewhere for work, then a private room also works). As I walk in, I introduce myself right away to everyone present. If anything, it´s nice to know whose name to put after ´stop snoring, XX!´Just kidding, it just breaks the ice you know.

Also, when available, I tend to stay in female dorm rooms instead of mixed ones. Though I do have to admit that this is more because of the fact that women tend to be a bit cleaner and snore less, that because of security. But still.

And every hostel has a little ´living room/bar/kitchen´ where people socialize. Most of them are solo travelers as well.

If you´re not into hostels, then a shared AirBnB might be your thing. I recently did this (though with a friend) on Gran Canaria and the people we stayed with, were so nice, they invited us along for their New Year´s celebrations and we all went surfing together.

One thing that I really do recommend though, for your own sake, is to book the first night of accommodation after a long journey, especially when arriving at night. You´re probably tired, maybe new to the country or city and the last thing you want to do is go onto booking.com with a non-working airport wifi and stress over all of this. Just book that first night, after that.. the adventure is yours.

Transportation

In many Latin American and African countries where I stayed for a longer period of time, I usually had my ´fixed´ cab/motor drivers. I had their personal numbers and I knew they were to be trusted. I usually got them from other friends or people that I knew. Furthermore, welcome to the digital era, there are now a bunch of quite good applications across the world: safeboda (for taxi scooters in Uganda), GoJek (same concept, in Indonesia), Easytaxi (safe, traceable taxi´s in Colombia and Ecuador), etc. Again, ask around. If in doubt, ask the place where you are staying/eating/visiting to call you a safe cab, instead of just flagging one down the street. I always tend to take a quick look at the number plate as well.

The famous wedding ring

Ok, it might not always work, but in many countries, you get a bit more respect as a married woman, and I tend to make sure to be wearing a ring and show it every once in a while. Sure, you still will have to explain why you are not with your husband, but it´s ok.

The usual stuff: just think

Things you should just generally never do really (listen to your mum): cover your glass when in a bar and never leave it unattended, don´t accept rides from strangers, don´t get overly wasted without someone who you realllyyy trust (and sober) to take care of you.

So, there you go. Solo travel, as a woman, has both pros and cons. You might try it and never want to travel alone again, and you might try it, and never want to go back again. Let me know!